Thursday, 13 August 2009

Being naked/practically naked at work

Cycling 10 miles each way means that I get naked at work. Yes I do, and I'm unashamed.

It didn't occur to me that by showering I was getting all naked to be honest until I mentioned the showers to a friend. Not realising we had any, her reaction to my cycling to work was 'Eugh! Don't you get sweaty?!'. I replied 'Of course I do, then I have a shower at work'.' 'Oh. My. God. You get naked in your office?!?!!??!??!' I thought for a moment and realised I do, in fact, get naked in the office.

I have had to confront this reality only once before and that was when I fell over in the shower at work. I'd got naked, climbed in and the damn thing wasn't working. I stepped out and, without my glasses on, missed the non-slip mat. I went straight down smashing a towel rail on my merry way. My first thought as I lay sprawled naked and sweaty across the floor was 'Oh God don't let anything be broken, I can't call for help!'. I've learned to accept my office nudity but I've also realised that I come close just by walking into the office in lycra.

If you think about it, one of the only other outfits that shows off that much curve is a swimsuit and you wouldn't wear that in an office surely? I sit at my desk right now in a pair of shorts so tight they leave nothing to the imagination. Even those unaware of the debate over pants under lycra couldn't fail to see where my allegiance lies. But even this doesn't worry me unduly because I know the secret many women don't.....

All those holding in pants that promise to squeeze away unwanted inches.... What are they made of? Yes, Lycra. Good-quality shorts are actually quite flattering if worn with a suitable top. My bottom looks tiny because no one can see that my long t-shirt is hiding the fat that's been squeezed upwards. Hurray!

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