When I texted her to say I'd seen a gorgeous little wire-haired terrier in a bike basket and it had reaffirmed my desire for a cat basket on my bike, she didn't scoff, instead revealing her secret dream to get a mastiff that can be towed in a child trailer on her bike.
Ace.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
You, in the penguin-like body condom...
You're often on the Tour de Commute on the Uxbridge Road on your gorgeous expensive-looking bike and your black and white racing kit and cleats. You go very fast actually and I'm impressed by that. You have nice equipment, I envy it.
So it's a pity you're a t**t.
When there are five slowish people climbing a short hill on a very narrow stretch of road in heavy traffic you wait for a good time to overtake (as I was doing). You do NOT overtake them so closely they're nearly crushed against the 18-foot bendy bus they're overtaking. You do NOT then do the same thing to the others in the queue.
I'm sorry we were going a mere 15mph but it's a commute, it's not a f****** race. Get over yourself.
Oh and the white bits of your shorts highlight your other, more... ahem... physical, inadequacies.
So it's a pity you're a t**t.
When there are five slowish people climbing a short hill on a very narrow stretch of road in heavy traffic you wait for a good time to overtake (as I was doing). You do NOT overtake them so closely they're nearly crushed against the 18-foot bendy bus they're overtaking. You do NOT then do the same thing to the others in the queue.
I'm sorry we were going a mere 15mph but it's a commute, it's not a f****** race. Get over yourself.
Oh and the white bits of your shorts highlight your other, more... ahem... physical, inadequacies.
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Let me help you
I often see people cycling with nearly flat tyres. It depresses me as a lot of the time it's just poor maintenance or a lack of knowledge.
This morning I leant forward at a junction and addressed the latest flattie. 'I'm terribly sorry but you're back tyre is completely flat' (I'm quite posh and middle class about these things in that I apologise frequently). The lady in question turned round and looked panicked.... and embarrassed. 'Ummmmm, oh yes I see .... ummmm I'm sure it'll be fine ummmm until I get to work'.
Ladies and gentlemen, it was NOT fine, this was a tyre like a pancake and when she pedalled off one could actually see the rim hitting the road. But I knew this was a battle I wasn't going to win. In the face of such blatant denial one must walk away and offer help only when the flattie is willing to accept it.
She was wearing naught but a small handbag in the way of luggage and clearly did not have any kit with her and her abject terror betrayed the fact that she had absolutely no idea what to do.
I offer help to people (mainly damsels) in flattie distress perhaps four times a week. Some don't need it but most won't accept it only because they're in denial about it.
A p******* is not your fault, it could happen to all of us. I have the tools to help you, but only if you'll let me.
This morning I leant forward at a junction and addressed the latest flattie. 'I'm terribly sorry but you're back tyre is completely flat' (I'm quite posh and middle class about these things in that I apologise frequently). The lady in question turned round and looked panicked.... and embarrassed. 'Ummmmm, oh yes I see .... ummmm I'm sure it'll be fine ummmm until I get to work'.
Ladies and gentlemen, it was NOT fine, this was a tyre like a pancake and when she pedalled off one could actually see the rim hitting the road. But I knew this was a battle I wasn't going to win. In the face of such blatant denial one must walk away and offer help only when the flattie is willing to accept it.
She was wearing naught but a small handbag in the way of luggage and clearly did not have any kit with her and her abject terror betrayed the fact that she had absolutely no idea what to do.
I offer help to people (mainly damsels) in flattie distress perhaps four times a week. Some don't need it but most won't accept it only because they're in denial about it.
A p******* is not your fault, it could happen to all of us. I have the tools to help you, but only if you'll let me.
Monday, 28 September 2009
Setting an example
On Saturdays I teach small children music and I love it. I teach with my beloved moomin and recently we've started going by bike some of the time. And the children love it.
There are dozens of teachers at the music school but only around four of us come in by bike. I forego the lycra and wear black leggings with a long top but we often are still wearing our helmets and yellow vests when children start arriving and saying hello.
When I do night rides I tell them and they're often open-mouthed with awe, they love to hear about them and a few are bikers themselves already. At least one girl is desperate for a stunt bike for her birthday.
Too many parents are frightened of letting their children ride a bike. They don't have to go on a road, although one family locally goes to school every morning by road with the children carefully marshalled in the bus lane. It's a source of great joy to me to see the many tinies on bikes in the park near my house on the weekends. Increasingly I see whole families and the bike path near me often has a red-faced father towing children up the steep bit in a tow-along buggy or clip-on extension.
The best thing we can do to encourage children is to set an example. If they ask whey I wear my helmet and high-vis vest I tell them but it's all personal choice. Harder is fighting the temptation to swear at rubbish drivers when I'm near the music school. A range rover came so close to moomin and me on Saturday that I thought he was going to clip my ankle. You never know which parent drives which car and seeing their music teacher calling their dear mummy a c*** could undo all the good bicycle work even if dear mummy can't drive.
Until cycling is seen as a normal way of getting about children and young people won't see it as an option, so let's set an example.
There are dozens of teachers at the music school but only around four of us come in by bike. I forego the lycra and wear black leggings with a long top but we often are still wearing our helmets and yellow vests when children start arriving and saying hello.
When I do night rides I tell them and they're often open-mouthed with awe, they love to hear about them and a few are bikers themselves already. At least one girl is desperate for a stunt bike for her birthday.
Too many parents are frightened of letting their children ride a bike. They don't have to go on a road, although one family locally goes to school every morning by road with the children carefully marshalled in the bus lane. It's a source of great joy to me to see the many tinies on bikes in the park near my house on the weekends. Increasingly I see whole families and the bike path near me often has a red-faced father towing children up the steep bit in a tow-along buggy or clip-on extension.
The best thing we can do to encourage children is to set an example. If they ask whey I wear my helmet and high-vis vest I tell them but it's all personal choice. Harder is fighting the temptation to swear at rubbish drivers when I'm near the music school. A range rover came so close to moomin and me on Saturday that I thought he was going to clip my ankle. You never know which parent drives which car and seeing their music teacher calling their dear mummy a c*** could undo all the good bicycle work even if dear mummy can't drive.
Until cycling is seen as a normal way of getting about children and young people won't see it as an option, so let's set an example.
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Cycle lanes, the big debate
So there has been much hooing and haaaing over the whole, do cycle lanes make cars get closer to bikes debate. I just don't understand the hype, of course they do.
Along the Uxbridge Road there are both cycle and bus lanes and I lurve the bus lanes. The cycle lanes, not so much. Drivers seem to disengage the part of their brain that judges safe passing distance because if they're not crossing the dotted line, surely that means they're being responsible? Actually it just means that they're being totally selfish nobheads.
Bus lanes are fab because buses are far less frequent than cars so you have huge stretches with just you and the bike sailing along in a large, bright-red lane that no cars will touch because they'll be fined if they do. Cycle lanes are often parked in, driven in by scooters as well as cars, and many are so narrow that to get the whole width of your handlebars between the lines you cycle in the gutter through gravel, glass and the occasional dog poo.
The flagrant abuse of cycle lanes is what makes them so rubbish. Why the hell can't parking wardens get with the programme and start ticketing those who would force cyclists into the path of traffic because they need to avoid the five-minute walk caused by parking somewhere sensible (and legal)?
With this in mind, I've signed the Sustrans petition on making cycling safer (for women in particular).
I love to cycle and I love my bike, but when idiots swing in close 'But I haven't crossed the line even though my wing mirror's practically smacking your bottom' I know why other women are put off. Men tend to be far more risk-loving in my experience albeit limited. Maybe the government should stop whining about traffic congestion and actually invest in getting more people out of their cars.
Rant over!
Along the Uxbridge Road there are both cycle and bus lanes and I lurve the bus lanes. The cycle lanes, not so much. Drivers seem to disengage the part of their brain that judges safe passing distance because if they're not crossing the dotted line, surely that means they're being responsible? Actually it just means that they're being totally selfish nobheads.
Bus lanes are fab because buses are far less frequent than cars so you have huge stretches with just you and the bike sailing along in a large, bright-red lane that no cars will touch because they'll be fined if they do. Cycle lanes are often parked in, driven in by scooters as well as cars, and many are so narrow that to get the whole width of your handlebars between the lines you cycle in the gutter through gravel, glass and the occasional dog poo.
The flagrant abuse of cycle lanes is what makes them so rubbish. Why the hell can't parking wardens get with the programme and start ticketing those who would force cyclists into the path of traffic because they need to avoid the five-minute walk caused by parking somewhere sensible (and legal)?
With this in mind, I've signed the Sustrans petition on making cycling safer (for women in particular).
I love to cycle and I love my bike, but when idiots swing in close 'But I haven't crossed the line even though my wing mirror's practically smacking your bottom' I know why other women are put off. Men tend to be far more risk-loving in my experience albeit limited. Maybe the government should stop whining about traffic congestion and actually invest in getting more people out of their cars.
Rant over!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
