I'm having a pants day. everything seems to be against me.
I've fallen over at work, comforted someone who's had some gutting news and dealt with the rubbish NHS on behalf of a loved one to find out they'd basically been forgotten.
The falling over is a regular and very annoying thing. A problem with one bit of me means I often fall over onto both my knees. But normally it's not in front of the people in the tea room. Normally I don''t actually hurt myself. Normally it's because I've not exercised so the problem's got worse.
This time I've been exercising regularly and have actually lost weight but it's just not enough.
This problem will stay with me forever and the only way is down. I can't run as it's too high impact, I can't swim as I hate chlorine and it hurts too much, I can't afford to just eat chocolate and get fat enough that the eventual surgery is too risky.
My knees are killing me and I feel like crap but I can't wait to get on my bike and ride home. It'll hurt on the hills and I'll probably shout at least one rubbish driver but it'll be wonderful. Sometimes it's all I want to do.
Sex has a similarly wonderful endorphin effect, but I can't really seeing it becoming socially acceptable on the main road. Besides I love Roger and everything, but he's just never going to be anything more than a very good friend.