Is what lock did you use the new what were you wearing?

A month ago, it finally happened. I had a bike stolen. How ironic that may last post here was an excited announcement that my husband had bought it for me.

In the year and a half since then, it's become a central part of the family. I used it nearly every day. The school run, shopping, runs down to Kew, carrying music equipment for work, it was fab. The kids loved it, I loved it. Then some motherfucker decided they loved it too, and now it's gone.

In the month since it was taken I have gone through various stages, but now I'm angry. And not just at the thieves who took it.

I'm angry at societal blame culture and I am getting more and more pissed off with one question. "What lock was on it?".

Who the fuck cares? Why don't you just look for the bike or shut up.

We are all well aware that it is, thankfully, becoming more and more unacceptable to ask assault victims what they were wearing when they were assaulted. But I was unaware that this idea of the victim being to blame encompasses all sorts of other crimes.

Turns out, The Beast was something of a local celebrity. I have been completely overwhelmed by the local community's response to its theft. I am still being stopped in the street by strangers asking if it's been found and offering their support, my local MP got it into a newspaper to spread the word and I have been reached out to by women who told me seeing me pedalling around with kids inspired them to believe they too could carry on with their passions after children.

The flip side of all this publicity has been the comments blaming me for the bike's theft.

Like most of the people I've spoken to with a cargo bike, mine was not always chained up. I often used the immobilising bolt lock on the back wheel, particularly if nipping into shops or the pavement was too narrow for me to leave it attached to something. The morning it was taken I had forgotten my D-Lock and, in a moment I've replayed in my mind countless times, I put the bolt lock on and rushed into the baby group I run as a volunteer and was late for.

I came out and the bike was gone. We think people (it would have taken at least two as The Beast is sodding heavy and huge) lifted it into a van and spirited it away to God knows where.

Well what did you expect?

You should have chained it.

It was your fault really.

Not any more people. The only person responsible for the theft of my bike was the thief/thieves. I am no less a victim because people have judged my lock inadequate. If I'd left my bike with no lock at all it still doesn't give someone the right to take it.

A lot of bikes have gone missing in my area, and you can bet your bum that the comments will include a question involving how it was kept (ie locked)/a summary of how shit the locking arrangements were/a good old mansplain as to how it should be locked next time. It's fucking unhelpful at best, and insulting at worst so just stop it.

We will keep looking and, hopefully, The Beast will return.

So thank you to my community in Hanwell and the amazing support I've been given and continue to receive.

And off you fuck, those of you who believe I should just expect it, because bike theft "is one of those things" and that I am to blame.

In fact, on your fucking bike.