Day two on the tube. Eugh.
This year I have successfully managed to avoid most colds. I've not had one during the cold snap and it's been great. I mention it in past tense because now that I'm back among the unwashed and unhygienic masses on public transport I've already got the sniffles and the sneezles. This is all caused by the wheezles.
You know who you are you 'heroes' who battle into work with an accurate physical representation of plague. Your eyes and noses are red and streaming and you've always forgotten your tissues so spend the journey sniffing and snorting like the swine that gave you the flu.
You cough your wheezy breaths across the carriage in steamy breath so thick it looks like you've hired the germs from a Domestos ad to follow you to work.
No one likes you, go home.
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Mr Suave
Mr Suave is a colleague, he NEVER reads my blog so I've had to promise to give him a mention to encourage him.
A brief description:
Mr Suave lived in Italy for a year so is stylish, in fact, worryingly so. I have a feeling he spends more time in the bathroom each morning than I do in an entire week. He's about my height (5ft 10"ish) with hair carefully constructed with what looks like old-fashioned pomade. His hair is sacred. While he tolerated a Christmas hug with a look of disdain, to mess the hair would herald instant death.
Recommend to a friend? Hmmmmmmmm no one expecting anything more than a Pret coffee the next morning and definitely not to anyone expecting a phone call.
In short, good fun to work with and, although he tries not to be, probably quite a nice person overall.
Hi Suave, oh and a big shout out to his favourite person and longest ever relationship partner A3.
A brief description:
Mr Suave lived in Italy for a year so is stylish, in fact, worryingly so. I have a feeling he spends more time in the bathroom each morning than I do in an entire week. He's about my height (5ft 10"ish) with hair carefully constructed with what looks like old-fashioned pomade. His hair is sacred. While he tolerated a Christmas hug with a look of disdain, to mess the hair would herald instant death.
Recommend to a friend? Hmmmmmmmm no one expecting anything more than a Pret coffee the next morning and definitely not to anyone expecting a phone call.
In short, good fun to work with and, although he tries not to be, probably quite a nice person overall.
Hi Suave, oh and a big shout out to his favourite person and longest ever relationship partner A3.
What a letdown
I live on a dead end that borders a park and when I woke and peered through the window the snow had drifted and looked a good few centimeters deep. Decision made, no cycling.
Mr Weenie agreed to take me to the nearest tube and we set off. As soon as we cleared the end of our road I realised my heinous error. There was no snow at all on the Uxbridge Road. Not even ice. I watched a couple of cyclists whizz by as we queued in traffic, it was so unfair.
I waited nearly half an hour for a train and crammed into the carriage. I bit my tongue as a brash blonde played her Michael Jackson loudly through her earphones and took up enough room for two. My only consolation was that her over bleached hair was starting to crisp in the freezing air.
Where are the 40 centimeters? Hmmmm?
I feel particularly cheated because my poor parents are stranded in Paris as their plane home from a new year break was diverted at the last minute when Gatwick was closed. Their luggage is still on the plane so they can't even train it home and it took six hours before they got a hotel. Poor dad, who still suffers from exhaustion after January's health excitement was made to queue for four hours standing up.
With that kind of drama going on I feel like I should see some evidence!
Mr Weenie agreed to take me to the nearest tube and we set off. As soon as we cleared the end of our road I realised my heinous error. There was no snow at all on the Uxbridge Road. Not even ice. I watched a couple of cyclists whizz by as we queued in traffic, it was so unfair.
I waited nearly half an hour for a train and crammed into the carriage. I bit my tongue as a brash blonde played her Michael Jackson loudly through her earphones and took up enough room for two. My only consolation was that her over bleached hair was starting to crisp in the freezing air.
Where are the 40 centimeters? Hmmmm?
I feel particularly cheated because my poor parents are stranded in Paris as their plane home from a new year break was diverted at the last minute when Gatwick was closed. Their luggage is still on the plane so they can't even train it home and it took six hours before they got a hotel. Poor dad, who still suffers from exhaustion after January's health excitement was made to queue for four hours standing up.
With that kind of drama going on I feel like I should see some evidence!
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Crouching kitty, hidden danger
I crouch, waiting.
As I ponder the meaning of the universe and it's relation to the amount of food I can get out of my human cohabitants I hear the steady whirring I've been waiting for. I sit, like a statue, willing the freezing pedaller closer.... closer.
At the optimum moment I spring forth with a yowl, inches from the cyclist's front wheel.
I pause, revelling in the screech of brakes and the loud whoop of fright from the lycra-clad victim.
Once she has fishtailed to an exciting stop on the ice I saunter off and flick my tail. Ha!
I am the kamikaze kitteh.
As I ponder the meaning of the universe and it's relation to the amount of food I can get out of my human cohabitants I hear the steady whirring I've been waiting for. I sit, like a statue, willing the freezing pedaller closer.... closer.
At the optimum moment I spring forth with a yowl, inches from the cyclist's front wheel.
I pause, revelling in the screech of brakes and the loud whoop of fright from the lycra-clad victim.
Once she has fishtailed to an exciting stop on the ice I saunter off and flick my tail. Ha!
I am the kamikaze kitteh.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Post-Christmas fatness
Eugh. This morning I braved the arctic winds and icy roads to cycle to work.
It's been a couple of weeks since Reg and I have gone that far and it showed. There was a disturbing meeting of my stomach and knees at the apex of my pedal however..... i.e. my stomach has expanded to the extent that it impedes my pedalling.
Oh dear.
Not just that but I was knackered after cycling in this morning. I cycled a bit while off work but not anywhere near the 7.5 miles that makes up my commute.
I roasted a duck for Christmas and I'm not ashamed to say the highight was the roast potatoes and parsnips done in the fat in the bottom of the roasting tray.
On the plus side, while friends and colleagues are signing up for pricey gym memberships and fat-busting online diet plans I just get on Reg and wait for the calories to burn themselves off.
It's been a couple of weeks since Reg and I have gone that far and it showed. There was a disturbing meeting of my stomach and knees at the apex of my pedal however..... i.e. my stomach has expanded to the extent that it impedes my pedalling.
Oh dear.
Not just that but I was knackered after cycling in this morning. I cycled a bit while off work but not anywhere near the 7.5 miles that makes up my commute.
I roasted a duck for Christmas and I'm not ashamed to say the highight was the roast potatoes and parsnips done in the fat in the bottom of the roasting tray.
On the plus side, while friends and colleagues are signing up for pricey gym memberships and fat-busting online diet plans I just get on Reg and wait for the calories to burn themselves off.
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